so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Life is so much better after having sex.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
