if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
