is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize