Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
