Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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