If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
