So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
