You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
she pinky promised me she was 18
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
