i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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