No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
