They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
