lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
