she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
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He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
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How many fucks given?
0.12846
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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