so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
