I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
