So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
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she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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