we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
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I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
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Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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