im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
