biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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