it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I think people are normalizing furries
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
