Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
