Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
