How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Say something about gay babies.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I think I just shit out all my problems.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
