I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Randomize