The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize