I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
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I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
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I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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