Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?