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• (913): View more from Kansas

  I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.

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• (225): View more from Louisiana

  She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.

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  19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.

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• 

  The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.

  (1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

  As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  Why so serious bruh

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• (352): View more from Florida

  You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.

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• (631): View more from New York

  There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?

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