Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
