Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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