I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
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