I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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