he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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