It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
