look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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