He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You pole danced in your parka.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I'm always down for nudity.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
