so that wasnt chicken after all
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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