at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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