5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
