hotel room ftw
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
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