Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
