its not stalking. its research.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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