I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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