I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
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