My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
