i just google imaged poop.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
