its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
