Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
