also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
