my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize