I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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