he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
third nipple confirmed
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
