Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
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