Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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