that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
