tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
