dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
