Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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