Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
that is very illegal...i love you.
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