just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Sex in the backyard? Check.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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