All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
