Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
