We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Randomize
